Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl Just got into some fun dialogue with my brother following a TED talk we both watched of late. Our various deliberations brought up some interesting topics - so thought I'd share them here! - Who has more empathy & compassion - the boys or the girls?
- Does a 'compasionate girl cell' actually exist?
- Can it create world peace?
- Do bullies have empathy?
'...where the need for competition (including many business environments) and survival are paramount, there is inevitably orientation toward dominance and self-protection in both males and females (instrumental traits). In contrast, where co-operation is important (schools, hospitals, childcare) there is an orientation toward relational traits.' '....to truly identify is to love.' In this passionate talk, Eve Ensler declares that there is a girl cell in us all -- a cell that we have all been taught to suppress. She tells heartfelt stories of girls around the world who have overcome shocking adversity and violence to reveal the astonishing strength of being a girl. Ooooo i've definately got some opinions about that presentation.
I'm not sure if she's going for a sociological, anthropological or evolutionary viewpoint (i'm not sure that she is either) but intrigued that by embracing her 'compasionate girl cell' she blames the 'tyranny of masculinity' for repressing human empathy. Given that literature finds those with the most developed cognitive empathy make the most successful bullies (they also have the most developed understanding of morality but for some reason choose not to pay attention to it), and that girls that score well on affective empathy scales almost never defend their peers in bullying scenarios, I imagine she hasn't dwelled too long on the psychological evidence for her claims.
I can well believe that more impoverished and less educated areas have an unhealthy bias toward male-stereotyped personality traits. By male-stereotyped personality traits she seems to imply instrumental (focused on outcomes) as opposed to relational (focused on relationships) sets of behaviours and goals. It would appear that where the need for competition (including many business environments) and survival are paramount, there is inevitably orientation toward dominance and self-protection in both males and females (instrumental traits). In contrast, where co-operation is important (schools, hospitals, childcare) there is an orientation toward relational traits. Well slap me sideways and call me Judy, human beings adapting to their environments? Staggering.
Is it just me that gets riled by the continual soup box protests that as men we need to stop abusing our female counterparts? The demands for equal rights that sidesteps the trouble you'll be in if you don't make an effort for valentine's day. Now i think about it, i stopped expressing my empathic awareness (which remarkably hasn't flown south since i did so) when i realised that it clearly wasn't helping me score.
Rant over - it was probably my overdeveloped anger response cause by my testosterone, i'll just pop off and have it surgically removed. If you need me i'll be weeping gently to a particularly dramatic episode of neighbours.
Meh. - Dave Wow - slap me on the face with a kipper and call me Roger, and I'd still be impressed!
Your points so bleedin' well made, insightful and erh... dare I say compassionate too? (that'll be the girl cell btw Judy) - thanks bro :)
So - if I am interpreting correctly here, your basically pointing out that empathy is neither masculine nor feminine - neither is compassion. The gender aspect is more relevant perhaps to the way we express our concluding emotions; an outcome of everything from forms our belief systems and agendas.
That said, how we identify with what is an 'acceptable' response with respect to our gender is perhaps more relevant in what I think Eve is seeking to express. Our belief systems have provided us with a map of societal rules and expectations through which we behave (or not - how rebellious ya feeling today?!).
Aggression is more commonly 'accepted' in males; subservience more so in females. When challenged by our environments, we have a tendency to allow a response more akin to that that society has taught us is 'ok'. It follows therefore that it is both genders that need to consider why they respond in the ways that they do.
Bullying in the female realm can be far more painful in the long term - its' less straight up, less obvious - perhaps more calculated (hence why the top female bullies of the world have the need for empathy - they need to in order to figure out the best approach).
When it comes down to it, it's bridging our sense of belonging and identity that creates peace. This is why initiatives such as Playground Builders and Playing for Change are so good. Music and play exist within us all - aggression rarely tolerated within its fold. It is mutual, non-threatening yet creates laughter and a sense of togetherness (erh... like the Games - but lets not get onto discussing budgets just yet!). To truly identify is to love. Caroline. ps.. how was neighbours, bro.. skype me if ya need to talk about it, k?
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